2.27.2003
Heyyy yeah one more hour of class this week! And David coming this weekend, which should be awesome as long as I get work done today & tomorrow and he doesn't get grossed out by my pink eye and incessant vomiting.
But on the plus side, screw your roo is tomorrow! We still haven't figured dinner out, but it should be a roccckin time. We had to have 1 volunteer from each dorm in flo to be sober each hour...it's amazing how hard it was to find them. I mean, wow. But it should be fun. As long as I get let in this time....
And my mom just sent me the Raise the Red Lantern soundtrack which I haven't been able to find! It's soooo good! I'm so excited!
Yay... awesome. Yay.
I awoke in relief
My sheets & tubes were all tangled
Weak from whiskey and pills
In a Chicago hospital
My father was there
In a chair by the window
Staring so far away
I tried talking just whispered
'So sorry so selfish'
He stopped me and said 'Child
I love you regardless
There is nothing you can do
That would ever change this
I'm not angry, it happens
But you just can't do it again.'
--Bright Eyes, Let's Not Shit Ourselves (To Love and To Be Loved)
2.26.2003
Sooooo when it rained the day before yesterday I went out on the catwalk in my bathing suit and ran around and it was looooads of fun... the boys I went with got water guns and shot each other and me and the water was really warm because it was cold out.
I woke up this morning and one of my eyes is all red and there's all this gunk around it and I don't know why.
I write when I'm away
Letters that you'll never read
You said go explore those other women
The geography of their bodies
But there's just one map you'll need
You're a boomerang you see
You will return to me
You will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will.
'Cause if you don't then this book's all lies
If you don't then my plans will all be ruined
If you don't I'll start drinking like the way I drank before
Well and I, I just won't have a future anymore
--Bright Eyes
2.25.2003
Hey...yeah... Hey. :) I don't have anything to say really. I'm pissed at doctors everywhere and their inefficient beurocracy! Boo that! And I hate sicknesses. And ... boo meat!
2.17.2003
I went rollerblading! And I wrote a rough draft of a 12 page paper! Today! It felt sooo good. Funny how one feels good when you're doing it, and one feels good when you're done...
I'm soooooo glad I had today off. It really helped....
:)
2.15.2003
Yeah weekend. Yeah sick this weekend as I have been for who knows how long. Oh well!
I rescind all the bad things I usually say about Valentine's Day because it was cute here yesterday. I don't know. It was though. It really was.
And no Chinese New Year for me...Stuck here being sick and doing work. My hope is that it will at least be productive. If it isn't I'll be pissed.
Yeah everything. Yeah.
2.14.2003
Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I hate this holiday, but it's okay. It's all good. Wooooooo.
I'm decorating my room. It's nice. There are pictures & stuff. Can a virus experience fear????
I'm not sure what else is up. The "Champagne and Chocolate" was really lame, the chocolate was of mediocre quality. And...shit happens.
And I'm still throwing up regularly...what is wrong with me...what the hell is wrong with me??
Something in the way she explains to me
Please be careful I exist in someone else's head
Something in the way that she makes believe
Please be careful Annie dreams that everyone is dead
--Annie, Our Lady Peace
2.06.2003
I picked you out
Of a crowd to talk to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said, "Thanks, can I follow you?"
So it's up the stairs
And out of view of the prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name you asked the time
Now it's two o' clock
The club is closed we're up the block
Your hands are on me
Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to ask
Who else may have been you before
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said he'd meet me here but I'm not sure
I've got the money if you've got the time
You said "It feels good" I said "I'll give it a try"
My mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers they just play tragic
And the phone's ringing
And the band's leaving
Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep...keep singing
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I've got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need a meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt? I do I do
Then hurt me
Then hurt me
Then hurt me
Then hurt me
--Bright Eyes
2.05.2003
It take hard work to cash checks
So don't be fooled by the rocks that I got
Yeah, but the best song ever is "Lover I Don't Have To Love." It's soooooo good. Listen to it. Seriously. Maybe I'll post some lyrics later.
